manners
Dear Mary: how can I set my daughter up with a nice young man?
Q. I am soon to entertain a house party on a sporting estate. We took the same house last year…
Dear Mary: Was I wrong to strip my guest’s bed before she left?
Q. My friend has had an irritating experience in our local cinema. She speaks fluent French and teaches it in…
Dear Mary: How do I calculate how much caviar to take?
Q. While on holiday in Corfu, we met a rather nice man who invited us to his house for dinner.…
Dear Mary: Help! My neighbour keeps getting me drunk
Q. We have a neighbour who always overfills my glass. I beg her not to. Even if I commit the…
Dear Mary: How can I get through a long, exhausting wedding?
Q. When I have an arrangement to meet a certain friend for lunch she sometimes turns up with a streaming…
Dear Mary: How do we handle staying with friends with very different political views?
Q. We are going to stay with some old friends who we haven’t seen for a couple of years as…
Dear Mary: How can I get enough champagne at a party?
Q. I had the same Spanish housekeeper for 25 years and was devoted to her, and she to me. She…
Dear Mary: Where should I seat Hollywood stars at dinner?
Q. My husband and I have recently made very good friends with some neighbours in France. They know I am…
Dear Mary: How do I ditch my slow-walking friend?
Q. I recently attended an opera on a friend’s estate in Kent. It was a multi-generational, non-ticketed, invitation-only event. The…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my friends going on about their ‘neurodivergence’?
Q. Everyone I know pretends to have neurodivergence to make themselves seem more unusual and so they can talk about…
Dear Mary: how can I point out a friend’s unsightly nose hair?
Q. I’m the author of 14 books, mostly historical fiction but a few children’s books, all published by a major…
Dear Mary: How do you leave a party early?
Q. How can you leave a party early – e.g. at midnight rather than 4 a.m. – without everyone thinking…
Dear Mary: How do you decipher modern RSVPs?
Q. I was caught off guard last week by a busybody mother at my son’s boarding school asking us to…
Dear Mary: how can I relax about the clothes moths in my home?
Q. Having previously lived in the country in a field with my nearest neighbour not even visible, I recently moved…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette of responding to save-the-dates?
Q. I have a problem with a much older friend who is slightly insecure and super-sensitive to criticism and I…
Dear Mary: how can I tell young people to pipe down at dinner parties?
Q. I find that when I go to mixed-age dinner parties the young all seem to be shouting. How can…
Dear Mary: Must I take my mother-in-law’s hideous cast-offs?
Q. My soon-to-be mother-in-law has started off-loading large amounts of her expensive but hideous cast-off clothes on to me. I…
Dear Mary: How do I stop Ozempic ruining my dinner parties?
Q. I enjoy giving dinner parties and put a lot of effort into the preparations. However, recently I have noticed…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband eavesdropping on my phone calls?
Q. I’m quite a good friend of a member of our royal family – going back to our shared school…
Dear Mary: How can I check if my host received my thank-you letter?
Q. Annoyingly, one of the Sunday newspapers ran an article about the ‘least used but most scenic footpaths’ in the…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband falling asleep at the theatre?
Q. At the age of 50 my brother-in-law has discovered a talent for acting and singing. He has joined a…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my friend that hot food needs hot plates?
Q. A divorced male friend, renting in Notting Hill, has had no historic experience of cooking but has discovered Lidgate…
Dear Mary: How do I get my friend’s wife to keep her distance?
Q. Every year my husband takes two weeks’ prime salmon fishing on a Scottish river. It’s a really nice holiday…
Dear Mary: How do I get my cleaner to quit?
Q. How can we get our new unsatisfactory house cleaner to resign? There is a huge demand for cleaners in…
Dear Mary: Should I admit to being a Donald Trump supporter?
Q. This may sound ridiculous but I have an issue with the Big Issue seller near me. I am in…
