When I heard that two Victorians, Bronwen Bock and Lucy Bradlow intend to nominate as candidates to share the representation as the member for the seat of Higgins in the national parliament, my mind immediately thought of B1 and B2, the Playschool characters known as Bananas in Pyjamas.

You probably know the lyrics to their theme song:

Bananas in pyjamas
Are coming down the stairs
Bananas in pyjamas
Are coming down in pairs
Bananas in pyjamas
Are chasing teddy bears
‘Cause on Tuesdays
They all try to
Catch them unawares

I thought to myself, with a few tweaks, here is the theme song for Bronwen and Lucy:

Bronny and Lucy
Are coming down the stairs
Bronny and Lucy
Are coming down in pairs…

Can’t you imagine Bronny and Lucy prancing into the chamber, dressed in teal and white striped pantsuits?

A search of the web reveals all sorts of weird theories about the meaning of the lyrics, including the tongue-in-cheek suggestion that they are wild Asians hunting white Teddy Bears

The actual reality is a much more mundane. The author, Carey Blyton, was endeavouring to settle his infant son during a long car trip, singing to him various nursery rhymes – but nothing worked. ‘In sheer desperation, I made up a nonsense song, Bananas in Pyjamas, which sounds like the opening chorus of every bad musical you’ve ever heard. Matthew loved it, and I had to sing it over and over again. It worked; he went to sleep! We got back very late and I was about to go to bed when my wife insisted I [go] to my study and write Bananas in Pyjamas down. I protested. “You won’t remember it in the morning; write it down now,” she said. So I did. And then went to bed.’

It is surprising that Blyton wasn’t deplatformed by association with his famous aunt, Enid, of Noddy fame. Perhaps creating a piece of meaningless nonsense saved him. Blyton was a serious musician, serving as a professor of Harmony, Counterpoint & Orchestration at the Trinity College of Music, London, for a decade. Yet he is best known in Australia for composing a nonsense song that sounds like the opening chorus for a bad musical.

Having been a popular segment on Playschool, Bananas in Pyjamas became a separate children’s television program. Most children move on from Bananas in Pyjamas. Our almost five-year-old grand-daughters are fans of the Wiggles now. No doubt in another five years they will have moved to Taylor Swift – or her then equivalent. Perhaps it is a fitting sign of the times that two decades after the original series finished, B1 and B2 can be reinvented as MPs.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy bananas. In the days before sports drinks, a blend of ripe bananas, yoghurt and water was useful for long bike rides, such as the annual 200-kilometre Fruit Loop at Shepparton.

Bananas are one of the most sung about fruits, but they are often associated with misfortune. Harry Belafonte’s ‘Banana Boat’ song warns of the lurking tarantula spiders. Then there is the unfortunate Greek grocer explaining ‘But yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today’ in the popular song from the 1920s.

My favourite banana song is Harry Chapin’s ‘Thirty thousand pounds of bananas’. I understand why the family of Eugene Sesky were p-ssed off with the lighthearted portrayal of his death when his truck lost its brakes, spilling the load of bananas, in Scranton, Pennsylvania and killing the driver. But it didn’t stop Margie and me singing along with Harry, having driven to Sydney to see him in concert. Until his premature death in a car accident in 1981, he was one of the great musical poets of the era. Others who come to mind are Kris Kristofferson, who read literature as a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford; and the lyrical genius, Jimmy Webb of ‘Wichita Lineman’ and ‘By the time I get to Phoenix’ fame. But I digress.

What do the new B1 and B2 stand for? In a soft interview on the ABC, the political communication specialist and former lawyer, and the investment banker spent most of their time talking about balancing work and family. Fair enough, it is an issue for many workers.

Bronny and Lucy revealed that they have had discussions with Climate 200, the organisation backing the Teals, although Higgins wasn’t listed in the 20 seats named by the organisation as targets. Billed as ‘independents’ by the media, their reference to policy contained the usual Teals trope of climate change and integrity, as well as cost of living pressures. I thought a myriad of local issues for the people of Higgins may have rated a mention, or perhaps that part of the interview was edited out. Their fashionable white t-shirts, branded with a stylish teal-coloured B + B logo, will no doubt look the part in Chapel Street, South Yarra.

It is not too early to ask just what the Teals have achieved. The Teals member for the neighbouring seat of Kooyong seems better known for her falling out with her former chief of staff than anything else. Lucky those two didn’t embark on a job share! All political parties are ‘addressing climate change’, and there is now a National Anti-Corruption Commission. Yet the Teals are stuck in their feel-good politics that seem to have more than a modicum of vanity attached. Higgins was once the seat of Harold Holt, John Gorton and Peter Costello, all very significant contributors to the Australian polity. I can’t imagine any of them thinking that representing the people of Higgins was a part-time shared job. Nor do the women who have represented the electorate since then.

Ms Bock, a mother of three children, was reported as saying she had been interested in running for parliament, but couldn’t take on the sort of workload expected from an MP. ‘Without doing it as a job share, I wouldn’t be willing to do this on my own,’ Bock said. ‘[Job-sharing] opened up the possibility for me. It opens up parliament to a whole crop of people who are currently excluded from the system.’

I don’t doubt their well intentioned motivations, but if two members are better than one, why not ten or twenty? Wouldn’t that also be more representative of the electorate?

The idea of multiple representatives is not new. Two women endeavoured to be joint representatives for a seat in the 2015 British elections, but their nomination was rejected by the courts. The judge pointed to the many practical and other issues involved. Even a supporter, constitutional lawyer, Kim Rubenstein, concedes the Electoral Act would have to be changed, a move that neither major political party supports. Another constitutional lawyer, Anne Twomey, says the Australian  constitution would have to be amended to allow the proposal.

B1 and B2 for Canberra? Methinks the people of Higgins will say, ‘We have no bananas, we have no bananas today.’